


My Heart in Flame

by a_pathetic0524



Series: あの日、あの場所 、あの話 [8]
Category: ONE OK ROCK
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bahasa Indonesia Version on Wattpad, Broken english, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Drama & Romance, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 20:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19158151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_pathetic0524/pseuds/a_pathetic0524
Summary: "I want to see what I've never seen," is how Taka answered when Toru asked him where he wants to go.From behind the leaves, a spark of firefly flew towards the sky.





	My Heart in Flame

  
HIS FEELING for Moriuchi Takahiro began from a little spark as if the first firefly that flew towards the night sky. At the beginning, he ignored it, but over time the feeling disrupted him. Fire from millions of fireflies that fly into the sky burnt his heart.

Noticing the feeling, he failed to find out when he began to fall in love with Takahiro. No matter how hard he tried to remember, nothing he got as the results. He was a fallen leaf swayed by the spring breeze without knowing where would he land. When he found out where he landed, he had fallen in love with his best friend.

"I want to see something I've never seen," was Takahiro's answer when he asked where Taka was going to after refusing to be taken back to the hotel where they stayed at.

After hesitating for a moment, and at the same time satisfying himself with Taka's features, Toru turned to his two other friends.  Tomoya and Ryota took turns looking at Taka and him, confused and full of questions. A natural reactions since they just finished a rehearsal before tomorrow's ONE OK ROCK's live at Yokohama Arena, and any sane people should rather sleep immediately than going somewhere else.

Sighing, Toru turned his attention back to Taka, "Then let me go with you."

"Nah, I can go by myself, Jamil is going with me too." Taka waved his hand.

"I'll go with you." Toru shifted his attention to their manager who was standing side by side with Taka's assistant and right hand, Jamil Kazmi, "I will go with Taka, give me the key."  Immediately, he reached out to Jamil.

"Toru-san," Taka pulled his cotton jacket's sleeve, "I'm not a kid, after all why did you replace Jamil as my driver?"

"You two just go back to the hotel."  Regardless of Taka's protest, Toru grabbed and tightly grasped the key to Taka's rental van.

"Toru-san."

"Alright then," Tomoya's playful tone fished their attention, at the same time, Taka let go his jacket from his grip. "We'll go back to the hotel first, you two, don't come back too late." Tomoya affirmed his warn.

"Don't worry about that." Toru lightly tapped the drummer's shoulder followed by Ryota, their bassist's back, as they stepped into the white van with the dark window rented by their agency followed by Jamil and their manager.

As he turned around, Taka welcomed him with a frown in his forehead and a dissatisfied look. Without a single word, Taka nodded towards where a silver-painted Toyota parked beside the much larger white van and rushed there.

In the car, they chose to stay quiet until Yokohama Arena was far from sight.  Takahiro said nothing about where he had to go, and that made him drove the car to the opposite direction from the hotel. From a far, street lights was fireflies that left him with emptiness and darkness once he drove pass them.

Emptiness, maybe that was what he felt seconds Taka reportedly left the spa with a woman.  The media became fussy crows that echoed the same shits from another media about the possibility if they were lovers. That made him decided to approach one of his female friends until, again, the paparazzis managed to sniff their closeness more reliably than a dog.

"Are you upset?" Toru glanced at the man six months older than him.  April, last month, Taka turned 31. Questions when Taka would get married or at least, about who might be his lover grew louder as if thousands of similar questions were not enough to be asked since two years ago just because Takahiro was getting closer to 30. Not to mention that both Ryota and Tomoya were married, even Tomoya's wife currently pregnant with their second child. And then their marriage life, as they stayed single, became a game that not even fun anymore. At least for him.

Was it strange if he admits if he often feels resentment towards these people because of that? Though, Taka seemed couldn't care less anymore.

Aren't you a pathetic, Yamashita Toru?

"Can't you guess it?" Taka averted his gaze towards him from the car window that framed the rows of shops and cafes along the shoulder of the road. They just passed the Negishi Station. And, even though he had said it was dark and empty, it was nothing more than a hyperbolic expression because the car's digital clock still showed a half past eight in the evening. They did deliberately finish faster today.

"Yeah, you are annoyed and upset." Toru shrugged lightly and tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

Taka snorted. "Then, why bother asking?"

Their car stopped just before the traffic light turned red.  Looking at Taka, honestly Toru didn't know what expression he put on his face which, according to Taka, was stiff and unfriendly.  But, feeling how his lungs being squeezed tight and his heart beat uncomfortably behind his ribs, friendliness was clearly not a thing he wanted to show or even listen to. 

"Why?" Toru gritted his teeth. "You don't like it being here with me? Although on stage you harassed me here and there for your fan girls' scream?"

"What's with you, Toru-san?" Taka yelled at him. His almond-shaped eyes which framed a pair of midnight-colored irises narrowed. "Why did you got angry, eh? If there is someone that should be mad, shouldn't it be me? You forced yourself to go with me. What actually do you want?"

Rather than answering a barrage of questions from the vocalist, Toru threw his attention outside the car window. He clenched and punched the car door.

He screwed up.

Toru clicked his tongue. "Choosing to go somewhere else instead of resting immediately when tomorrow we start our tour, is that woman so important?"

Rage took a reside in his chest. His heart thumped wildly as if almost breaking his ribs. And questions without answers jumped here and there in his head, dizzying him.

"A woman?" Taka frowned. "If I really want to meet someone, then what's the problem? Do you think I'm going to be unprofessional and forget about our tour just because of someone?"

Choosing silence, Toru closed his eyes for a moment and closed his lips tightly.  The rhythm of his heartbeat was fast and strong, trying to tear his eardrums. Why? Why did he always end up being childish just because of Moriuchi Takahiro?  Nearly fifteen years passed and still Taka was able to screw him up like the first time he heard the voice of a young man who sang as he staring down on the stage.

Could falling in love make someone this stupid and irritated? Just because he was a coward that kept hiding behind the reasons that they were both men.

"I'm outta here."

The roughly opened car door forced him to shifted his attention back at Taka who left the car.

Toru hardened his jaw. "Takahiro."

Taka stopped, half turning at him but refused to spare a glance. "I'm done with you, Toru-san. You're worst than a woman on PMS."

"Wha-"

The car door shut close, and from behind car's horns destroyed his calm.

Toru sighed, spurring the car following Taka who crossed and marched on the sidewalk to his right. He stepped on the gas when Taka turned towards where Sankeien Garden was. Without wasting much time, he rushed out of the car after he parked a little far from where Taka was.

The cold night bit him, ignoring the fact that they were at the end of May and he was wearing a jacket that might be too thin and papery to protect him so did his white tee. Passing through the girls clad in yukata, Toru ran further into Sankeien Garden after paying the entrance fee with a ten thousand yen that he just ignored after.

After a moment, he stopped and looked around, trying to find a man among couples who marched around the wide garden as if getting ready for something. In the distance the Pagoda Old Tomyoji stood firm and full of glory disguised with matching colored trees in the midst of darkness. Only a glimmer of dim light from the garden lamps made him able to catch a glimpse of the green plum tree paired side by side with the pink cherry blossom petals. The rest, however, whether the flower beds or the trees looked as dark in his eyes.  Like how, he, a guitarist from a band called ONE OK ROCK that busy to catch up with the world market, was still an ordinary person like the other visitors to Sankeien Garden.

However, if he chose to be a lover of a man named Moriuchi Takahiro, would he still look no different from the men who love women?  Or would he end up like a burn scar on the skin that will never disappear?

Wet grass scents and crickets song that telling him about the summer coming close welcomed him as he approached Kogawa River.

"Taka."

Moriuchi Takahiro stood still between two sakura trees, facing the Kogawa River. Night blanket without neither beginning nor an end spread in front of him. From the darkness, flew a small flickering light. One, then two, then thousands of lights danced towards the full-moon. Under the light blanked was Taka who contrasted the colorful yukata wore by the girls around him. The spring breeze playfully teased his similar colored blond strands as him.

"Don't you think they are similar too cellphone flashlight I usually asked to turn on every time we play Wherever You Are?" Taka chuckled. "But of course this one is more beautiful."

Toru swallowed a breathe. Slowly he closed the distance between the two of them even though he knew, as close as they were the distance would still be there. "Fireflies?"

"Genji and Heike Fireflies." Taka turned towards him right after he stopped beside him.  Taka's expression looked soft bathed in the dim light of fireflies dancing to the sky. "The priest who released him said that this was a battle between the two fireflies, even though I couldn't tell the difference."

Toru looked up, gazing at the night lantern made of fireflies. Wasn't fireflies in front of him looked like fire? Starting from one spark and then blazing bigger and higher in his heart.  His chest always rumbled every time Taka was so close to him, drowned him and made he drunk of his mint-scented cologne and his love for Taka.  The heat inside him set him in flame, even though he didn't want to end up being ash.

"Takahiro ..."

Taka stared at him closely and laughed weakly. "What? Do you want to ask about why I went out at rather than going back to the hotel?"  Taka pointed towards the fireflies, "I want to see something like this, because I feel anxious since tomorrow is our first day."

Toru bit his lips.

Taka shrugged. "But it was a good thing, right? We can see fireflies although it's spring."

Toru grimaced, disparaging himself.  "I looked stupid, didn't I?"

"Yeah, dumber than Ryota really, when you got mad like that." Tucking his hands into his hoodie's pockets, Taka gazed up at the sky.

"Sorry."

"No need to apologize."

Toru lowered his head, choosing to quietly enjoy the wind and crickets that created a harmonious melody alongside his slowing heart beat.

"Passionate love."

Raising his head, Toru stared confusedly at the man beside him.

Taka smiled, returned his gaze. "In Man'you-shu's poem, fireflies symbolize passionate love, my grandmother once read me."

Passionate love, eh?

Taka's shoulders relaxed after the man sighed. "Although different from you, I never knew what passionate love was like," Taka snorted, "so, no need to worry about I'm being unprofessional because of women, Toru-san."

"Then," ignoring the beauty of nature, Toru chose to enjoy Taka's face.  Those full-lips, soft jaw and beautiful moles adorned his cheek. "Do you mind, if I show what passionate love is like?"

Let him show you something else that you have never seen.

Taka frowned. "What do you mean? Since when is your language became like cheap romantic poetry?"

Grabbing Taka's right arm, Toru pulled the man into his embrace, that their bodies collided gently. Toru stared down, enjoying the tingling warm of Taka's hunting breath on his skin.  Setting the flame in him bigger.

"I love you."

And, let him to show you about the feeling he had been hiding like a firefly in the cage of the girls' fingers which disturbed them. Let him show you the flames that had been burning him in silence, while the sparks flew into the sky like fireflies at the end of spring.

"I love you, Takahiro."

Let him show you about things you've had never seen. About a passionate love that you have never understood before. About a feeling of wanting you. About fireflies that no longer hid behind the leaves.

#

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback please. Not of the grammar because I know it sucks, more of the descriptive and narrative. Where should I add or cut. What you like and dislike. And can you feel the sense of traveling/journey, love, tourism place and spring?
> 
> find me on wattpad for toruka (oor), omiryu (3jsb), ganjiro (3jsb) and makiharu (ossan's love)'s fanfictions in bahasa indonesia.
> 
> wattpad: a_pathetic0524  
> ig: zen.ldh.oor/a_pathetic0524
> 
> Bahasa Indonesia version here: https://my.w.tt/hyCuxQxvoX
> 
> Thank you for reading (≧∇≦)/


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